Help Yourself

I've talked about moving on properly before showing interest in a new person, to attempt to give yourself the best results when starting over. But it's not only about moving on, it's also about bettering yourself for you. Lately I've been noticing a lot of people say in my next relationship I'll do such and such better, but I'm fine how I am now. No, that's not how it works. When you're single, it's a time to focus on yourself and learn how to get better, so when you're in a relationship you're not trying to make the relationship work while trying to make yourself relationship ready. Basically, all I think it is is depending on someone else to help you change. Although you can learn more about yourself from constantly being in close quarters with someone else, you know yourself best. You know what problems you have before getting into a relationship, so why wait until you have something potentially good to decide to deal with your issues. This gives you a greater chance of messing it up because you're taking the focus off of you two and putting it more on yourself. Although within a relationship you should be helping each other and building each other up, I am a firm believer in first helping yourself before others can help you.
When you notice something negative about yourself, figure out on your own what you have to do to change that. It's already a great thing if you can acknowledge that you can be better, your next step is to figure out ways you can slowly start to change that. If you're really interested in completely learning yourself in the process, try to figure out why you have been that way. That understanding will make it easier for you to realize why you do certain things and even more why it's no longer good for you to be that way. Growing and change is a constant process when you have issues that you've had for years. For instance, my attitude can be a problem for me. And I've done what I need to become a positive person and not carry around a bad attitude, but that doesn't mean I don't want to cut into someone the minute they make me upset. I have to consciously make sure I take a breather and think the situation over before I react in a negative way. So it's not always going to just be 100% better all the time, it's you acknowledging that you have to do better and want to do so.
In growing up and maturing, you're going to have to do some things differently and that you don't want to do. Stop being proud of or trying to praise the fact that you know you're prideful, negative or have a terrible attitude. That's so immature. If you can acknowledge the slightest problem you have, that's the best time to take action in fixing it. So when you say you want a certain type of person to be with, when the time is right, that person will see how better of a person you are, not how much work you have to do to get there. When you start to help yourself, someone may come along and realize how strong you are for doing so, and that's when another person can come into the equation to help you better yourself.